Top Ten Premier League Soccer Players’ cars

10: DAVID JAMES – Three-wheeled Reliant Robin

Yes, that IS David James, and yes, he does really own this car. Clearly the ex-England goalkeeper’s flare for all things arty has morphed into a flare for all things cheap, rusty and missing a wheel. It definitely doesn’t win any awards in the coolest player car competition. This car is about as awesome as some of his past hairstyles:

9. WAYNE ROONEY (Roo Ni) – Ford Sportka

Okay, to be fair, I wouldn’t mind this player’s car as it is pretty cool. But for a guy who at this time had just signed for Everton and was earning more in one week than this car is actually worth – it’s a little average… kinda like his outfit! Awesome number plate though, although “Shrek” would’ve been more applicable.

8: STEPHEN IRELAND – Range Rover Sport

Stephen Ireland, the Manchester City star is rocking out in his pink wheels. And pink grill. Oh, and pink seats. Wait, did someone say this car belongs to a guy?

7. EL HADJI DIOUF – Lincoln Navigator

Senegal and Sunderland striker El Hadji Diouf shows us how a big manly soccer player’s car should be kitted out. Tinted windows, 23” rims and an absence of pink! It’s cars like this that are keeping Sunderland in the Premier League this year.

6. DIDIER DROGBA – Mini Cooper S

When you’re as quality a striker as Chelsea’s Didier Drogba, you don’t need a flashy car to boost your ego. Although I wonder how he fits his (big) head into this tiny piece of machinery? Good to see though that all his on-pitch diving has finally won him a penalty – for parking illegally! Sheesh, I hope he has enough money in the bank to afford that parking fine!

5. ASHLEY COLE – Mercedes-Benz SL63 AMG

Ashley Cole better enjoy driving cars like this whilst he can still afford it. Divorces can be messy things and something tells me that soon to be ex-wife Cheryl might be after this black beauty. Nice ride though, it has a nice combination of black, with shades of black and black rims. Even the paparazzi are wearing black. I can help noticing however, that this player’s car is parked on a rather inconspicuous “NO PARKING” sign on the road. He should learn from Drogba’s mistakes!

4. JOHN TERRY – Bentley Continental GT

I wonder if this players’ car was bought before or after he hooked up with his team mate’s wife? Clearly he’s feeling a little grey though. He cheated on his wife, with his friend’s wife, got dropped as England’s captain, is struggling with form and recently drove into a security guard. Nice ride though John, this car ought to enable you to drive away into the sunset and leave (ALL) your problems behind.

3. WAYNE ROONEY – Aston Martin Vanquish

Good to see that a few years after buying his awesome Ford Ka, Rooney actually realized that he has more money then he’ll ever be able to spend. He may drive James Bond’s car, but the level of suaveness I fear is lacking. The name’s Rooney, Wayne Rooney – License to do whatever I want without fear of losing my wife – I’m that rich!

2. CRISTIANO RONALDO – Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano
Before:

After:

Clearly, he plays soccer better than he drives. Cristiano Ronaldo has written a few cars off in his time, but this was probably the worst crash the premier league striker has had. This photo of the soccer player’s car was taken in a tunnel in Manchester where he crashed last year. Surprisingly, the guy who cries every time someone gets within one foot of him on the pitch, managed walk out of this wreck completely unhurt, without a tear in site. Clearly he just feels vulnerable in front of referees.

1. WILLIAM GALLAS – Mercedes McLaren

Chrome wheels are pretty awesome when it comes to pimping out your ride, but clearly chroming just the wheels isn’t cool enough for Arsenal’s William Gallas. He chromed out his entire car. Admittedly, it looks pretty cool, but I would hate to be anywhere near this player’s car on a sunny day. Someone pass me my shades!

And that’s it, some of the best and worst cars to come out of the premier league. Okay, so maybe I’ve been a bit harsh towards these guys in this article, but jealousy makes you nasty, and these players’ cars make me extremely jealous!